SPEND TIME THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY NEED

This is yesterday's post

Oh well put Tessa. I have a ritual that I perform once a year, (yes I know that I should be doing it more often, but there you have it).

I take out all my goals for last year, tick off everything that I have achieved that was on the list - ADD EVERYTHING THAT WASN'T ON THE LIST BUT WAS ACHIEVED ANYWAY, and then give myself a huge pat on the back for a job well done! Far too often we beat up on ourselves, for the stuff we haven't achieved, instead of congratulating ourselves for all that we have achieved.

Now, where is my diary - I am going to book a date with myself - a date to congratulate me on a job well done!

Spend time thinking about what you really need
We're too preoccupied with where we are going … and not on where we are now
Tessa Silberbauer

31 July 2007 at 10h00

When I review the events of the past few years, I've been blessed with very few luminous moments of either fortune or bliss. The overall impression is that of a series of challenges, each more or less disheartening as they presented me with dilemmas of strategy or ethics. But when I shift my perspective slightly, what I notice is not the tough times, but the gifts these trials brought with them. I would not have learned as much as I have about myself and about life without them. I think the biggest lesson that I've learned is how fortunate I am.

I don't feel lucky because my circumstances are any better than another person's. I feel fortunate because, despite the lessons I still face and will face, I am also faced with the inescapable conviction that life is good. One of the marvellous things about human beings is that we tend to be future-oriented. We are concerned with our goals, and how well we achieve them or miss them. But this can be taken too far. It is easy to be so preoccupied with where we are going that we overlook where we are.

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a man I'd just meet about the definition of wealth. When we talk about wealth and abundance in general terms, usually we think only about the figures on a bank statement, or material goods. I don't deny that these are important. Money allows us to be comfortable and to feel secure about our future, and it allows us to exchange services with relative ease. But there are other forms of wealth too. And in order to appreciate life to the full, we need to notice and appreciate these non-material demonstrations of fortune.

One of the definitions of wealth is "the property of a more than adequate quantity or supply". I feel lucky because I have more than what I need. It is only when I concentrate on what I don't have that I allow myself to start feeling deprived, or distressed because I haven't achieved some of my goals yet. It's been proven many times that when we define our wealth as a number only, that number is always inadequate

Consider what you thought being rich was as a child, or as a teenager. What happened to that figure? We achieve it fairly easily - and as soon as we do, we increase that number. And every time we reach the new goal, we increase it. It's easy to fall back into this way of thinking because money is a measurable, tangible benchmark. Money may be very important, but it is still only one aspect of our lives. Even when we have enough money in the bank or in our wallets, we still need to spend it in order to get what we really need. Remembering that is one of the ways to remind ourselves of the difference between needs and wants. This is a vital distinction - without it we cannot differentiate between our dreams, or prioritise our goals. I may want a fancy SUV - but what I really need is either access to reliable public transport, or a reliable vehicle. I want beautiful things, but I need very few.

Humans have many needs: food, water, shelter, sanitation, beauty, companionship, inspiration and challenges. If you want to feel lucky, spend a little time each day thinking about your needs, and how they are met. Be grateful for what you do have, even while you acknowledge that you would like more. Because goals are important as a motivation for change; but they should not prevent us from appreciating what we have, right now.

Do you feel lucky?

Tessa Silberbauer is a Johannesburg-based life management trainer. For information, corporate training or private consulting, contact her at 083-310-0955 or livingskills@webmail.co.za