Motivation - The Most Important Relationship

MOTIVATION – What are you waiting for?


By Nikki Viljoen of N Viljoen Consulting CC – July 2014

Robin Good says “The most important relationship is the one that you have with yourself.”

I must confess that whilst I absolutely, emphatically agree with this statement, when I sat down to write my musings  today, my thoughts on the subject were strangely ‘missing in action’!

I suspect that it is because I have undergone some huge changes in my life over the last year or so.

You see, someone came into my life last year and I have learnt some very big, very personal lessons from them.  One of the biggest of these life lessons is around how I value myself and my self worth, what I think of myself and how much of this is evidenced by how I allow others to treat me.

The reality of course is that I did allow others to treat me with disrespect and disdain and even on occasion complete disparagement. How utterly ridiculous is that! 

This person gently pointed out what was happening and quite frankly I was horrified at the extent to which I had allowed this to happen.  For years now I have allowed myself to be belittled and slowly but surely this has eaten away at my self respect, which of course has eroded my self esteem and my self worth. How utterly sad is that?

Believe me when I tell you that I have done an about turn and am living life with my eyes wide open.  Those who have gotten away with treating me so badly for so long have had a rude awakening and know that they can no longer do this -  the choice of course is theirs, they can have me in their lives . . . or not.  Some have chosen to continue to walk with me on the path of this journey through life, some have chosen not to, not necessarily because they have walked away, but because they have continued to treat me badly, and I have walked away.

For the first time in a very long time I feel alive!  It is as though every nerve ending in my body is awake and alert and waiting in anticipation for what is about to happen next.  The Universe has also responded and so many doors and opportunities are presenting themselves and I know it is because “I am different”!  I look the same and I sound the same, but I am different.  My demeanor is different, the way that I think is different and therefore the way that I engage with people is different. The way that I look at things and people and how they respond and react to me and with me is different and this change in me is what is making things happen differently.

How fabulous is this – a mindset change is responsible for the way I see myself, the way that I deal with myself and therefore the way that I deal with others. 
My relationship with me is different and it’s wonderful!  I have discovered that I am a worthwhile person and I am now going to invest in me, be gentle and nurturing with me and have fun with me!

Perhaps it is time for you to also look at yourself, inwardly, openly, honestly and unashamedly and see how your relationship is with yourself. If like me, you wouldn’t be friends with you, then maybe it is time to make the changes that you need to make.

Today, I am my own best friend and quite honestly, I like it like this!

Nikki is an Internal Auditor and Business Administration Specialist who can be contacted on 083 702 8849 or nikki@viljoenconsulting.co.za or http://www.viljoenconsulting.co.za