This is the post that should have been done on 16th July.

This article is so true and it hits the nail right on the head. This is true, not only in the workplace but certainly as an SMME and an owner of my own business. There are many occasions that I refer work to a colleague (I am always on the lookout for work for the people in my network) and there have been occasions where that has not worked out too well as the person is not who they say that they are or perhaps they have a hidden agenda.

It makes me question my ability to judge another person (not that we should be judging anyone, but I am sure you know what I mean). It hurts, somewhere deep inside of me, somewhere deep inside my soul. I am very careful though not to let it colour how I look at other people, or how I look at myself. My friend and mentor Vanessa, taught me that lesson - I am not wrong or stupid (or anything else for that matter) to be 'taken' in by someone like that - actually, it's not about me at all - it's about the other person and how they have misrepresented themselves.

So, I still meet people and refer them and try and help where I can - it is after all what I would like others to treat me.

When your trust is put to the test, stay resilient
John Mullins

07 February 2007 at 11h00

There is no doubt that in each and every one of us there is at the very least a tiny desire to be looked after. I'm not really talking about a spoonfed, maternal pampering kind of caring. Although that does sound quite tempting. I'm talking about that occasional feeling that someone perhaps has our interests at heart. This is vital in the workplace, where it is almost certain that you are going to be dependent on others for your success. You will not notice it all the time, mainly because you are expected to pretty much get on with your work. But shucks! When this feeling is lost or deliberately broken, it can feel as if your whole world is in danger of collapsing.

That is, of course, if you really placed your trust in another person for the well being of your career. Something happened this week that gave me such a good illustration of the different symptoms that blind trust can display in the workplace. It immediately showed up in a company that has been brought to its knees through a sheer tabloid-style exposé of its leadership. It's given me two perspectives. These are what I call superficial loyalty and counterfeit trust. They're slightly different in principle, but seem to have similar results.

When I come across an organisation that appears to have great success, I become interested in understanding what the seeds are for that achievement. It's often because managers and leaders heroically tackle the external world for the company, blazing trails and opening new opportunities. The charisma and magnetism that often come with leaders like this can easily cause you to follow in a gullible, almost naïve, manner. It's not to say these leaders are wrong. It just means their amazing visionary talents can leave people in a state of constant nirvana-like belief.

This positive energy can be so strong that thoughts of problems or difficulties are almost denied. You can probably get away with that for a while but at some point someone's got to do the dirty work. Business is like that, and your career will consist of times when things are more tough than easy. You have to learn to build some resilient tactics to remain productive. If you choose to remain blindly loyal to leaders, the results can be catastrophic when things go wrong. Never hand over your destiny to someone else who may show a tendency for stubborn heroics. It also doesn't mean you have to question every move. I just believe that you have to keep your wits about you.

The other more sinister trust breakdown is when it comes across in a counterfeit way. This is more menacing and can play horribly on your emotions. It's when your leaders and managers purposefully and sometimes forcefully buy your trust. The bottom line is that it's fake. It often occurs when you are feeling insecure and you reach out to someone who appears to have the answers. Leaders like this give a little here and there and lock you into a relationship that is built on falsehood. Whether it's sharing information with you, or promises of a bigger salary, you begin to hand over your trust cheaply in return for the recognition and reward. Beware of this danger. Unless there is a genuine meaningful foundation, the relationship can be broken swiftly when things go wrong.

So what do you do about it? Always stay in control of your thoughts, beliefs, behaviour and choices. Develop your own wisdom through exploring the truth. Understand your personality and what feeds your decision-making. You also need to remember that visionary leaders are not the sole cause of trust and relationship breakdowns. Often the combination of this and insecurity or plain old gullible belief is what leads to the ultimate breakdown. So, if you find yourself in a situation where your trust is tested, remain resilient. It's the strength inside that will allow you to bounce back. Not the heroics of an imaginative conqueror.
Contact John Mullins at john@dnalearning.net