YOU CAN FIND BALANCE IN ALL OF LIFE'S PARADOXES

Good morning bloggers - just a bit of a catch up here - this is the article that should have been posted on 30th April.

Wow! How succinctly this has been put. It certainly has made me stop and think on some of the issues raised. I certainly recommend that once you have read this, do the recommened excercise and see where that takes you.

Time to tweak the mindsets, me thinks!

You can find balance in all of life's paradoxes Success only becomes meaningful if we share it with others

Tessa Silberbauer

19 March 2007 at 06h00

There are a number of special occasions this week. The solar eclipse (two weeks after that beautiful lunar eclipse) happens today; Wednesday is both the Autumnal Equinox and Human Rights' Day; and we have World Water Day and World Meteorological Day on Thursday and Friday, respectively.That's rather a lot of days to take note of in one week. I couldn't resist the temptation of the coincidental merging of Human Rights' Day and the equinox. In a very real sense, the fundamental issues we face today are the apparent paradox of rights and responsibility, and the need to find a balance between these "conflicting" concepts. Each one of us declares something along the lines of: "It is my right to be prosperous and successful" - yes, it is every person's right to be successful. But success on its own does not imply meaning, or indicate purpose. Because if that ("pure" success) is the only purpose we recognise, two things happen:

Our definition of success narrows to exclude all the other factors that make up human life and the human psyche. None of us is really that shallow and, in fact, this attitude is almost guaranteed to ensure ill health. Our subconscious knows that if our only purpose is success, then when success is achieved, we have no purpose left. And I believe that we have a deep-seated need for meaning of some kind in our lives. In this case, therefore, we would subconsciously avoid success to avoid the resulting perceived lack of meaning. The key here is balance, as the equinox reminds me so wonderfully. It is vital for human health and well-being to find a balance between the different needs for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. I truly believe that our success becomes meaningful only when we can share it with others, either by sharing the fruits of our success with others less fortunate or by sharing the lessons learned in achieving that success.

A life devoted only to spiritual growth or to physical security loses potency and health in very short order. When our lives are devoted solely to our responsibilities, they quickly feel like soulless, joyless existences. But when we devote all our attention to ensuring that no one ever imposes on our rights, we quickly lose authentic power, pride or both. The following questions don't immediately need answers, nor do they demand instant solutions. But asking them nonetheless opens our subconscious intelligence to start looking for creative answers and innovative, appropriate solutions.

Spend a few moments each day this week, considering the following points. Jot down your answers (longhand or on your computer) and leave them to "simmer." You may well be pleasantly surprised by what presents itself.

Do I spend all my time lamenting my woes and ignoring any good that happens? Or do I spend all my energy denying that any trouble exists at all? In what ways can I be grateful for the good, while still acknowledging that some issues need attention?

Is the carrying out of my responsibilities, or the insistence of my rights, my only source of pride? How can I expand this attitude?

In what ways can I resist what is unethical to me, while still honouring the worth of a person who does these things? Where do I draw my ethical line? No matter how uncomfortable it gets sometimes, our rights can never be claimed at the cost of someone else's essential rights. But rights without responsibilityare as empty - and as unfulfilling - as success without community spirit. And I firmly believe that somewhere in these paradoxes, a balance can be found.

Tessa Silberbauer is a Joburg-based life management trainer. For information, corporate training or private consulting, contact her at 083-310-0955 or livingskills@webmail.co.za